Am I Too Demanding & Really Having an Attitude??

Is it my problem or my expectation for a special day should be ended with a good note rather than what it is now.

Darling say I have attitude problem, but I don't feel it should be categorized under attitude because all I want is just a simple little gesture of acknowledgment of what I've done to to at least make this distant 1 year anniversary more special with some surprises.

Didn't want darling to feel lonely on this special day to remember for the first year which I am not around.

Why am I always the one doing romantic things or rather lovely surprises (maybe its only me whom I feel it is a surprise) hoping that he will feel the wonderful surprises.

Once Singapore stricke 12 midnight, I wanted to be the first to say Happy Anniversary to you and make you feel loved and how much you mean to me and this special day is a day that we decided to hold each other hands and continue a journey that only the two of us can handle. But all you say was Happy 1 yr anniversary my love, 我也爱你. I know you wana sleep so I never really hope much.

I took up my sleeping time for my flight during the day to make this blog since I am on air 36,000 feet from ground and won't be able to say Happy Anniversary in time, so I configure the message I want to convey to update onto this blog when the clock strikes 12 on the 23 December. But whether you sees this message that I updated on the first second of 23rd December or not, I'm not sure.

I update the status in facebook on our private group after touching down from my long delayed flight (even though I am dead tired) hoping you will check every place that I might leave down notes for you. But I think you didn't realise that.

Thinking you will want to skype on this special day to at least tell me personally "Happy Anniversary" but remembered that there is a party in your office, which I know you won't have the energy to skype after you are back home from my understanding of you. This I can understand as you are out working and back home so late.

But what I can't accept is not even a "Dear, I've read the content on the blog you've specially set up and feel really loved and appreciate your effort", etc. Just a simple phrase like this will make me feel so much better, rather than "I saw yr blogspot n I love it ok le ma". If you did something off your sleep and all you wanted is just a simple phrase of acknowledgement but I told you I saw it and I love it ok or not after I wanted you to, it's no longer sincere anymore.

That is why I am disappointed, because I don't feel the sincere of all that anymore because you say it because I want to hear it, and it makes me feels like I am forcing you to say it.

Am I too demanding to just ask for something this simple or showing attitude to you at all??

Why I want us to remember this date because its an important date, at least for me, and I want us to remember and feel even more love on this day, even though I know you love me a lot. I don't want to become a couple which ended up not even knowing when we even started, how we started, because its the best thing to remember, isn't it.

I didn't want to remember this bad memory on my first year anniversary, but it takes time to forget so bear with me if I ever show real bad attitude at times coz it really affects my mood, a lot. To me, this December is the worst December ever in my life and I hope I won't have anything worst than that coming in future.